living in canada

Dear Property Brothers, I think I love you.


Drew and Jonathan. Or Jonathan and Drew. Does it really matter?

Whilst watching TV with my mom in bed (Yep. That happens here.) we were flipping around the channels and my mom turned on HGTV. That’s usually about the time that I peace out, but since I couldn’t feel the lower part of my body after eating McDonald’s, I decided to stay.

This show called “The Property Brothers” was on and guess what? It takes place in Canada! I was immediately intrigued. Basically, couples seek out these twin bros (the property brothers) to help them find their perfect house. The couples are eventually told that they won’t be able to afford their dream house, and that they’ll have to settle for a cheaper, fugly one instead. Lots of disappointment. But then the property bros fix up the fugly houses and make them look like perfect dream homes. Magic! Pure Canadian magic!

Paul and I live in an apartment. But eventually, we would like to be homeowners. To be completely honest, the only reason that I want to move into a house is so I can have a dog. Our apartment doesn’t allow pets. Which is a sick joke. I obviously have no other choice but to seduce the property brothers into making me us my our perfect home. This is literally the best and only plan of action I have. These brothers have to be around in 3 years, right? Right. If not, I will track them down and force them to work for me. Seems like a good way to make friends.

It’s already a lot of work living in an apartment and I literally sit around all day. I can’t imagine the work that goes into owning a house. I mean, I can imagine it since I’ve watched my parents do lots of house stuff over the years, but they made it look easy. Or maybe they made it look hard. Either way, I was probably immersed in finding various ways to waste time to even care. But now I care. And now it’s too late. So I need the property brothers.

*Side note: My parents would definitely help with any homeowner problems that we would have in the future, but I like doing things myself. And since I can’t do this on my own, I need the prop bros. Get it?

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21 thoughts on “Dear Property Brothers, I think I love you.

  1. Those two look like they should be Chippendales or something. If I turned on the TV and those two were inviting people into a house, I would think it was the start of some cheesy daytime raunchiness.

    What sort of dog would you get? I quite like dogs but the effort needed to look after one would be too much for me.

    • I love dogs! My family has always had handsome dogs. A husky, and a rodegian ridgeback looking dog. But now I kind of want an ugly one! Like a pug or a French bulldog. Haha!

      • Rhodesian Ridgebacks are kind of fugly, Lily in Canada. Unless you are attacked by a lion, then, they are beautiful. Just don’t get one of those hairless things or an English bulldog. Although I find them charming, I do not want a dog that has to be held in place while mating. Even though I’d not be anywhere near the process, the thought would ick me out to the point I’d lie in bed under the covers and whimper.

    • Whaat? They’re not ugly! Rhodesian ridgebacks are so plain! But mine was a mutt, so he was possibly a prettier breed. Do you like how I didnt even bother to look up the proper spelling of Rhodesian? I do. I love English Bulldogs, but I would never let my dog mate. There are too many puppies without homes!

  2. Marya says:

    LIly – I think I have watched that show…in my day…I have a feeling that you will find these guys and get them to work for you. I give you my blessing.

    I’m with Michael on a few things…the bro on the left has a sinister smile, calked to one side, and highlights in his hair. Trust the bro on the left. He looks like he could go to a Home Depot and dicker them down on prices to get you the bathroom tile or kitchen marble you need. Your mom and I once joked that that Lisa Ling (National Geographic in-depth reporter…Vietnamese…pretty…but totally BUGS) sent her ugly sister (who was married and had a baby) to North Korea and the fatso, late, dictator threw her and her side-kick friend in prison and they had to get Steve Bing’s plane (father of Elizabeth Hurley’s baby and a chum of mine once back in high school…excuse the name dropping) and Bill Clinton to get them out. True that, Michael, the Property Brothers look like a Chippendales’ act, but Lily, if you find them and they end of creating any sort of magic for you, please use the non-highlighted, straight-smile brother to do all the “dirty work.” Then the magic will happen.

    • Okay Marya, I will take your advice! That way, if anything goes wrong, I’ll blame you! No presh.
      I think it’s about time that you invest in your own blog! You have so many stories that need to be shared!

    • Good grief!!! I thought I was alone in believing Lisa Ling sent her sister deliberately!! She always looked a little peeved when she did interviews begging for their release–a “Damn!! I’m the pretty one!! How did this end up with her getting the attention?”. I imagined when Lisa (Ling, not Lisa, Mother of Lily in Canada and excellent commentor) ran over to do the big on camera reunion, she pinched her sister and hissed, “I’ll get you my pretty!”

      If you want work done and done right, get Sandra from ‘Property Virgins’ to buy the place and Norm from ‘This Old House’ to do the work. No miss, no fuss, no twin gimmick–just a guy who knows houses and how to fix them.

      • Lisa says:

        Oh yes, NORM! He’s the one I’d trust with my life. He’s the originator, the real deal. Too bad Norm doesn’t have a twin, Ned. They could probably get more $$$.
        For all I know they’re the behind the scenes guys at house hunters international? (my new favorite show – and yes, I always guess the wrong house.)

  3. Marya says:

    Just proof read my work…I meant the brother on the RIGHT in the photo looks sinister…my apologies to “The Property Brothers.”

  4. Lisa says:

    Don’t really know who to trust? I don’t think they parcel themselves out individually? That said, the one on the right looks like he has some panache ( I’m using the highlights and lavender shirt as my clue) whereas the other bro looks like he could do some heavy lifting, and get the job done.

  5. Marya says:

    Ok…the duo works… I see your point, Lisa…Lily…take them both…make them BOTH work for you…good luck in your endeavors.

  6. I don’t want to ever really own a home. My childhood home was such a mess. I also know that I’d end up moving in somewhere with ghosts. I don’t believe in ghosts, but I’m such a skeptic that I’d be the perfect target to be killed in the first half hour by the ghosts. The funny thing is that apartments are much more likely to be haunted. So many people have lived in them. That’s a creep thought that won’t help me sleep tonight.

    Also a very disappointing end to a great beginning. Lying in bed with your mom watching television? I didn’t see that HGTV swerve coming.

    • This was Lily and Lisa, not Dina and Lindsay. The first mother/daughter duo would watch TV and make fun of people on TV. The second duo would, well, um–wow. Look at the time. I have to go heat up leftovers.

    • We keep it classy in this house. For a while we got some are-you-guys-lesbians? looks from my dad and bro, but now I think their used to it. Ps. We are.
      But yeah, now I’m scared that my apt is haunted. I’m pretty sure my mom’s house has ghosts, but they’re “nice ghosts” aka we haven’t died yet…

      • I have a ghost. He lives in the living room. I don’t go in there very much, and DC flat out refuses to enter the room. *cue eerie music*

  7. Lisa, you always knew you could trust Norm. He didn’t dabble about in a plaid flannel shirt because it was ‘cool’, he wore one so he wouldn’t be cold. I must say, though, on occasion, Norm looked as if he’d been sniffing the wood glue, still, even then, he knew his rip saw from a cross cut saw.

    I also love House Hunters, International. Did you see the one with the family moving to Bali (I think) where the second house was up on a cliff, had an infinity pool and 7,000 sq feet of interior? The wife kept saying, “Oh, the kids are too young for that pool and I don’t like the height” and I was yelling, “FOR GOODNESS SAKE!! KIDS GROW UP!!”. The other ones that irk me are the Americans who go on and on about moving to a new country, then, tear apart each and every house they see because it’s not American looking.

    I think we just pulled a major threadjacking.

  8. Lisa says:

    I’m always amazed at the prices. Who knew the Isle of Guernsey off the coast of England was for millionaires only. Seriously? It’s remote and completely antiquated, yes it’s charming, but still… These couples reveal their budgets and I always think they’ll be able to get something really great and then the realtor takes them to the home with the dirt floor and outdoor toilet and I’m like, what the???? Really? My dreams of living internationally have been dashed unless I want to live in a lean-to 50 miles from civilization. Maybe I can afford a nice little bungalow in Iraq?

  9. “That’s usually about the time that I peace out, but since I couldn’t feel the lower part of my body after eating McDonald’s, I decided to stay.”
    Hilarious!

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