This goes against everything that I know to be true.
After graduating I wanted to set unrealistic goals for myself to accomplish in my spare time. Some of those included: getting a job (pshhahaha), learning to play the piano, learning french, etc. Coming to Canada kind of opened the bi-lingual door for me. Before I came to Victoria, I downloaded a French language app for my iPad in hopes that I could quickly brush up on the basics. Overall it was pretty unsuccessful since I am a video game pro and just figured out how to cheat my way through the levels.
Now keep in mind, I haven’t met any French speakers (besides my husband’s cousin who is 14 and is pretty much fluent because he goes to a school where they speak French all day. Yes, that’s a real thing. And yes, I’m super jeal). But every type of packaging has the English on one side and the French on the other side. Sometimes in the grocery store they put the items on the shelf with the French side facing out. What kind of a sick joke is that?!?!
Personally, I think French is a beautiful language. I could only dream of being bi-lingual. I just get so confused when inanimate objects are masculine or feminine. How do you keep that straight? Like, oh yeah that table is a girl but the chair is a boy. WHAT? Who decided that?
Also, it kind of freaks me out that Montreal is like, super Frenchy. Like, to the point where I don’t feel welcome there. I am trying to get accustomed to the whole French thing, but I can’t help to get a little panic stricken when I see Capitaine Crounche instead of Captain Crunch.
Ever since I moved here I have been slightly scared of driving. I mean, I think its normal to be nervous to drive in a town that you aren’t completely familiar with. But the thing is, back home I used to look for excuses to drive. I was always zippin around and picking people up or driving far distances. In Victoria however, I would rather walk or have someone chauffeur me from place to place. The roads are just so backwards here. The city is kind of on a grid, but its kind of not. There are way too many one-way streets. I am just waiting for the day I head down a street the wrong way and kill everyone in sight. Speaking of killing everyone in sight, there are SO MANY bikers on the roads. In all seriousness, if (and when) I kill biker, I would have trouble feeling bad about it. Bikes are not meant for the road. Unless its the Tour de France or something…but I still get annoyed with them. Like, don’t even get me started about how much I dislike Lance Armstrong.
Sooo the other day when I had to drive somewhere so I could go to “work”, I ran into some trouble. So sometimes lanes here just turn off without any warning and I always end up turning when I don’t want to. I usually try to stay in the middle lane to avoid all confusion, but the lanes kept turning so that the middle lane would become the left lane and so on. So I had to randomly turn down some street that I didn’t want to. After that, I continued heading home when the lane I was in started to turn into a turning lane AGAIN. The layout of this place makes no sense to me!! I started merging back into a different lane so I wouldn’t have to turn again, and the car behind me ends up stopping right next to me and does not let me over. LYKE SRSLY? Finally he moved but not without making the biggest, unnecessary scene. DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHO I AM? Obvi not.
I will slowly try to drive around and become more familiar with the city but it’s definitely going to take some time for me to get used to. But don’t be surprised if I’m arrested for killing a pedestrian or shooting some driver that sets off my road rage.
Before my husband Paul and I left on our road trip from Illinois to Victoria, B.C. (if you don’t know where that is, its right above Seattle–longest road trip of all time? RESPECT) I decided to pack my whole wardrobe, as per usual. I like to think of myself as a stylish gal. Even if I am just wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I need ALL of my jeans and t-shirts just so I have variety. Needless to say, the car was full of my clothes–in suitcases, on the floor, in garbage bags. It wasn’t pretty.
Once we got settled in and actually left our apartment, I started to take notice of my fellow Victorians. I would consider myself somewhat of an expert people-watcher, or people-judger if we’re getting technical. So I started to realize that no one dresses to impress, they dress to workout. Literally everyone on the main road by my apartment was either running, power-walking, walking their dogs, riding bikes, or carrying a yoga mat. I mean, I like to workout and I understand taking advantage of nice weather, but this was a little creepy. But I was also intrigued and slightly jealous that all of these people have motivation to work out every day.
I have wandered through the city and noticed that there are a lot of trendy (and expensive!) athletic gear stores. People here worship their yoga pants. It seems like there is little to no effort in looking presentable for Victorians and Vancouverites. I mean you can be fashionable while you workout (besides being super sweaty, having a tomato face and not being able to breathe). I still kind of have a bizarre attachment to working out with wii fit. Especially when it says “Hmm that exercise wasn’t really your forte” :/ Although, its easy to understand why people workout or are just outside all of the time here. The temperature is pretty mild–its never too hot or too cold. You also get the mountains and the ocean, and a little bit of city and the suburbs. Its a fine balance. But that’s all besides the point. There are way too many fashion crimes to count here. The other day Paul and I were walking down the street and a woman was walking her dog with curlers in her hair. I mean, she could have forgotten that they were in. She also could have no one to impress. But I’m sure she knew they were in after she saw the look on my face.
To further prove that I am not the only one who has noticed the severity of this epidemic (I think it’s fair to call it that), Paul pointed me in the direction of this article.